Two Faced

Sometimes the people who seem the happiest are hurting the most. Take a closer look at that girl who has the brightest smile in the room. This is the mask she wears, this is the face she shows to the outside world. The smile on her lips is beautiful and warm but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She falters for a second and for that brief moment she displays the hurt and emptiness inside her. The pain and anguish flickers across her face but she regains composure and promises herself she won’t let that happen again. She knows this is a promise she cannot keep.
She knows so well how to cover the pain inside and she knows how to make it convincing. She is so good at pretending in front of other people that she even believes it herself for a second. But in the end it just makes her feel the difference all the more when she is alone. The vast difference between the fake happiness she portrays and the gaping numbness inside which makes her feel like she is not whole.
She told someone before. She laid herself bare and she had hoped that sharing it with someone, having someone know what she really felt, would help. Having one person she could be real with, one person she could show her real face to, would have meant the world to her. But he had ran away. He had pushed her away as though her pain was contagious. As though her pain was something she should be ashamed of.
And now she finds herself petrified of telling another soul and getting burned like that again. She feels even more that she should hide what is inside her and she crafts her mask ever more intricately.
She knows she cannot go on like this. She knows she is struggling. She doesn’t know what will happen and she doesn’t know what she will do. She can feel her two faces becoming one and then everyone will be able to see.

There is One who knows everything she feels and everything she is going through. There is One who will always listen to the words she whispers in the depths of her heart. There is One who will always be there for her and for her struggles. There is One who looks out for her more than she could ever know. One who does not burden her with more than she can bear. The One who created her understands her better than anyone else can. And the One who created her loves her more than anyone else can. He is the best of planners and He is planning her story. What is coming is better than what is gone.

 

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